Pelvic Floor Condition
Non-Relaxing Pelvic Floor
By Dr. Anthony J. Gordon, Doctor of Acupuncture | Last reviewed September 2026
When you try to let go, nothing happens. Starting urination takes effort, bowel movements take straining, and relaxing enough for sex or an exam feels impossible. A non-relaxing pelvic floor has lost the ability to release when you ask it to, and that skill can often be restored.
Prefer to talk it through? Call (516) 597-5400. Most new patients are seen within one to two weeks.
Overview
Understanding Non-Relaxing Pelvic Floor
A healthy pelvic floor does two jobs. It holds, keeping urine and stool in, and it releases, relaxing so you can empty, have comfortable sex and sit without pressure. A non-relaxing pelvic floor has trouble with the release. When you try to let go, the muscles stay contracted or even tighten further.
This is closely related to high resting tone, but the key problem is control. Many people cannot feel the difference between contracting and relaxing these muscles, especially after years of tension. The result is slow or incomplete emptying, straining, a need to push to start urinating, pain with penetration, and a deep ache after holding or straining. Constant straining then tightens the muscles further.
Treatment combines releasing the tension and trigger points that block relaxation with building awareness and control, so you can let go when you need to. Dr. Gordon often works alongside pelvic floor PT and biofeedback.
Non-Relaxing Pelvic Floor at a Glance
Also called
Non-relaxing pelvic floor dysfunction, pelvic floor relaxation disorder
Who it affects
Men and women, often with long-term stress, holding habits or pelvic pain
Key feature
Inability to relax the pelvic floor on demand
Often seen with
Constipation, urinary hesitancy, painful sex, pelvic floor dyssynergia
Main drivers
High tone, trigger points, poor body awareness, straining and holding habits
The Gap in Care
What Tests Check, and What They Can Miss
Bladder and bowel tests may show slow emptying without explaining why. The inability to relax is a muscle control problem that needs direct assessment.
What routine testing is looking for
- Obstruction in the bladder or bowel
- Prostate enlargement
- Structural changes on imaging
- Infection
What often keeps symptoms going
- A pelvic floor that stays contracted when you try to relax
- Trigger points that block full release
- Poor awareness of contracting versus relaxing
- Straining habits that tighten the muscles further
- Breath holding during emptying
These are assessed by testing how the pelvic floor responds when asked to relax.
Signs & Symptoms
Does This Sound Like You?
Symptoms vary from person to person. These are the patterns Dr. Gordon sees most often.
Difficulty starting urination
Needing to wait, push or bear down before the stream starts.
Straining with bowel movements
Pushing hard even with soft stools.
Incomplete emptying
Feeling like you are not finished with urination or bowel movements.
Pain with penetration
Being unable to relax enough for comfortable sex, tampons or exams.
Pelvic ache after holding or straining
Aching in the pelvis, rectum or perineum after the bathroom or long days.
Feeling the muscles never switch off
A constant sense of clenching or holding in the pelvis.
Root Causes
The Four Drivers Dr. Gordon Looks For
Most people have more than one of these in play. Finding which one leads makes treatment more efficient.
High tone that blocks release
Muscles already contracted at rest cannot drop further when you try to relax.
Trigger points
Tight bands in the pelvic floor resist lengthening and cause pain when stretched.
Reduced body awareness
Many people cannot sense the difference between tightening and letting go of these muscles.
Straining and holding habits
Straining and holding urine or stool reinforce contraction instead of release.
Your First Visit
How Dr. Gordon Evaluates Non-Relaxing Pelvic Floor
The initial evaluation runs 60 to 75 minutes. You leave with a clear picture of what is driving your symptoms, a written plan, a realistic timeline, and in most cases your first treatment.
Records and history review
Dr. Gordon reviews your physician's findings, imaging, medications and past treatments so he knows what has been ruled out and what has already been tried.
Breathing and release testing
Dr. Gordon checks how your breathing and abdomen move when you try to relax the pelvic floor.
External pelvic floor assessment
The pelvic floor muscles are examined from the outside, with no internal exam. With you draped for comfort, gentle pressure around the perineum, sit bones, tailbone and inner thighs checks tone, tenderness and trigger points.
Bladder and bowel habits review
Dr. Gordon looks at emptying patterns, straining and toilet posture.
Plan and coordination
A clear plan, plus communication with your physician or pelvic floor PT when that helps your care.
When to see a physician first
- Fever or chills with pelvic or urinary symptoms
- Inability to urinate
- Visible blood in the urine or stool
- Sudden, severe pelvic or abdominal pain
- Unexplained weight loss
- New numbness in the saddle area or loss of bladder or bowel control
If you have any of these, contact your doctor or go to the nearest emergency department.
Bring to your first visit
Records
Recent lab results, imaging reports and specialist notes. These can also be faxed ahead.
Treatment history
A short list of what you have tried and what did or did not help.
Clothing
Something comfortable and loose fitting.
Treatment
How Dr. Gordon Treats It
These are the tools Dr. Gordon uses most often for a non-relaxing pelvic floor, chosen from your exam findings.
Primary approach
Intrapelvic & Extrapelvic Dry Needling
Dr. Gordon holds ASE certification in both intrapelvic and extrapelvic dry needling. Treatment releases tension and trigger points that physically block relaxation, making the ability to let go easier to access. The needles go in through the skin of the buttock, perineum or inner thigh, never through the vagina or rectum.
Learn about pelvic floor treatmentNerve focus
Neuro-Functional Acupuncture
Gentle electro-acupuncture to calm the nerve signaling that keeps the pelvic floor contracted.
See servicesBetween visits
Relaxation Training & Team Coordination
Breathing, toilet posture and awareness practice between visits, coordinated with your pelvic floor PT or biofeedback program.
Referring provider? Contact the clinicWhat to Expect
A Typical Recovery Arc
Visits 1 to 3
Release the block
Dr. Gordon lowers tension and trigger points. Many people find it easier to start urinating or empty their bowels.
Visits 4 to 8
Build control
Awareness and relaxation improve, and straining decreases.
Visits 9 to 12 and beyond
Make it automatic
Letting go becomes easier without effort. Visits are spaced out.
Most patients are seen weekly or every other week during active care. Individual results vary with how long symptoms have been present and how reactive they are. Progress is reassessed at every visit.
Not sure how to describe it? Put your pain or discomfort into words before your visit
"Dr. Gordon is thoughtful, thorough and incredibly knowledgeable. He has significantly helped me with pain management and pelvic floor issues. I am grateful to have his expertise in my corner."
Dina Isola, Google Review
Non-Relaxing Pelvic Floor Questions
Answers About Non-Relaxing Pelvic Floor
Still unsure whether this is the right fit? Reach out before you book and Dr. Gordon will talk through your history with you.
Hypertonia describes high resting tone. Non-relaxing pelvic floor describes difficulty releasing on demand. They often occur together.
They overlap. Dyssynergia specifically describes the pelvic floor tightening instead of relaxing during a bowel movement or urination.
Yes. Once tension and trigger points are reduced, most people can learn to let go with practice.
No. Straining tightens the pelvic floor. Dr. Gordon teaches alternatives, including breathing and toilet posture.
Most people need eight to twelve sessions with reassessment.
Yes. Dr. Gordon's treatment complements biofeedback and pelvic floor PT.
Before You Book
General Questions
The clinic is an out-of-network practice. The initial evaluation is $300 and follow-up visits are $250. After each visit you receive a detailed superbill to submit to your PPO plan for possible reimbursement. FSA and HSA cards are accepted, and the clinic can run a complimentary benefits check before your first appointment. The check is a courtesy, so please confirm your coverage with your plan. See Insurance & Fees for details.
The first evaluation is 60 to 75 minutes and usually includes treatment. Follow-up visits run 45 to 60 minutes.
Yes. Call (516) 597-5400 or send a message through the contact page. This is especially helpful if your case is complex and you want to understand the approach before committing to a full evaluation.
1508 Union Turnpike, Suite 133, North New Hyde Park, NY 11040, with free parking on site. The clinic is an easy drive from Manhasset, Great Neck, Garden City, Lake Success, Floral Park and Mineola. Early morning, evening and weekend hours are available.
Most people feel a quick muscle twitch or a deep ache that lasts a few seconds. That twitch is a normal sign the trigger point is releasing. Mild soreness for 24 to 48 hours afterward, similar to a hard workout, is common. Depth, angle and stimulation are adjusted to your comfort.
Both use the same fine, sterile, single-use needles. Dry needling targets specific trigger points and tight bands in muscle based on your exam. Neuro-functional acupuncture targets nerve pathways, often with gentle electrical stimulation, to calm nerve sensitivity. For a non-relaxing pelvic floor, Dr. Gordon commonly uses both.
When performed by a trained, licensed provider with detailed knowledge of anatomy, it has a strong safety record. Tell Dr. Gordon if you take blood thinners, have a bleeding disorder, are pregnant or have a weakened immune system so he can plan accordingly.
It is a technique that reaches the deep pelvic floor muscles, including the levator ani, obturator internus and coccygeus, to release trigger points and restore normal muscle function. The needles go in through the skin of the buttock, perineum or inner thigh, never through the vagina or rectum. Dr. Gordon holds ASE certification in this technique, which few practitioners in New York have.
Yes. Your privacy and comfort come first. When undressing is needed for the area being treated, you are fully draped. Needles are placed through the skin only, and nothing is ever inserted into the vagina or rectum. You can pause or stop at any time.
Yes. Non-relaxing pelvic floor can affect people of every gender, and Dr. Gordon treats adults of all genders and identities.
It helps to have had a medical workup so serious causes have been checked. If you have not seen a physician for your pelvic symptoms yet, call the clinic to talk through the best order of steps.
About Dr. Anthony J. Gordon
Dr. Anthony J. Gordon is a Doctor of Acupuncture licensed in New York and board certified. He holds ASE certification in intrapelvic and extrapelvic dry needling, along with advanced certifications in Functional Dry Needling and Neuro-Functional Acupuncture. With more than 18 years of clinical experience and over 3,000 complex cases treated, he focuses on pelvic, spinal and orthopedic conditions that have not responded to standard care, and works closely with each patient's physicians and physical therapists.
Read Dr. Gordon's full bioFurther Reading
Why Pelvic Floor Pain Gets Missed, and What a Muscle Exam Can Find
From the blog: why routine tests miss tight pelvic floor muscles, and what a gentle external exam can find.
Book an Evaluation for Non-Relaxing Pelvic Floor
Book a full evaluation with Dr. Gordon and find out what is keeping your pelvic floor from relaxing.
Early morning, evening and weekend appointments available. Free on-site parking.
Symptoms